a date that will remain in infamy

october 22nd, 2010.

a date that will forever be remembered as "the day that happy harry's stopped carrying anchor steam."

for those of you who know me fairly well, you know that one of my absolutely favorite beers is anchor steam.  brewed out of san francisco, it has a unique flavor.  a little on the bitter side, slightly hoppy, great aroma, smoothness, and ultimately a great beverage experience.  if you're like me and enjoy occasionally trying a new beer from a different part of the country, might i suggest starting with an anchor.  if you haven't tried it, you're really missing out.

unfortunately, being as i currently live in the midwest, anchor steam isn't readily available.  that being said, for the last 10 months that i have lived here, i've always been able to count on everybody's favorite liquor store--happy harry's--to have a six pack in stock at all times.

today, however, i was faced with the stark reality that they no longer carry anchor steam.  talk about an epic fail.

as i drove home, i contemplated the impacts that this could possibly have on my life.  as an active research intern and generally smart grad student, i've compiled numerous cost-benefit analyses and impact statements in my day.  thus, i decided...why not do the same and address what a lack-of-anchor-steam means to me?  the following is a graph that indicates my results.

Fig. 1.1 Anchor Steam Impact Analysis
Winners	Losers
-My wallet	-Happy Harry’s
-My liver	-Anchor Steam Brewing Company
-Monte’s Bar/Restaurant	-(losing) my inhibitions
-My neighbors	-My belligerent side
-My toilet	-Friends who are “already there”
-Sober me	-My tastebuds

as you can see by this graph, i'd argue that there are almost more net benefits than costs when anchor steam is taken out of my life.  let's address this situation further.

the first winner is my wallet.  lord knows that i've spent a pretty penny in my day buying six packs of anchor.  sure, it's not too expensive, but money is money.  the second winner is my liver.  i don't think that needs much explaining.  perhaps the biggest winner of them all is monte's bar.  as far as i know, they are the only bar in town that has anchor on tap.  (john alexander's has it in bottles...but you get my point.)  at $4 a pint, it's a bit more expensive than buying a six pack.  but nonetheless, one of my favorite bars and considering i can no longer enjoy anchor from the luxury of my apartment...i imagine i'll be making quite a few more stops at monte's.  my neighbors are also probably happy that happy harry's no longer is carrying anchor.  there have been far too many nights where i have capped off the evening with an anchor at home.  add in to that equation that i brought back 6 or 7 friends to my place...and you can imagine it gets pretty noisy.  (although since the start of the new school year i have had quite a few new neighbors...most of whom are louder and more annoying than i am!)  my toilet is definitely a winner.  do i need explain more?  the last and final winner:  sober me.  no longer will i wake up to a mountain of dishes, an obliterated bathroom, and a mess left behind from my friends.  (plus, cooking breakfast without a hangover is just so much more entertaining.)

as is the case with everything in life, with the winners come the losers.  the first loser is pretty obvious:  happy harry's liquor store.  i practically own a few bricks in your building solely due to anchor.  the second loser is anchor steam brewing company.  i can't wait to see your fourth quarter earnings losses on account of i no longer can buy your six packs.  another loser: my inhibitions (or lack thereof).  really.  i like losing them now and then.  those of you who have been with me while drinking know that i really lack a belligerent side.  that being said, i'm a really fun tipsy muslim.  also, for friends who are "already there" when we go out, anchor provides an easy, delicious outlet for me to "catch up" to the rest of you.  speaking of delicious: perhaps this is what i'll miss most...the crisp, refreshing, not-too-bitter-not-too-hoppy joy that encompasses my taste buds every single time i crack open a new anchor.

well.  there's only one thing to do:

find an appropriate substitute.

until next time, keep it toasty.  because buns absorb lots of friday night activity.  and that leads to a more pleasant saturday.  have a good weekend blogosphere.