really?

i apologize for not having blogged sooner, but i haven't had internet since june 28th.  couple that with all of the hectic adventures going on in my life....i've neglected TBTOO.  and for that i am sorry.

i just need to vent for two seconds.

first: to the douchebag taxi driver in daytona beach.  when you drive in a big circle, end up where you picked us up, and then proceed to drive to our final destination, it's pretty obvious.  if you're going to screw over a customer, don't take them back to the point where you first picked them up.  make a god-danged "S" instead of an "O" while driving.  you are an imbecile and should not be allowed to cheat honest people out of honest money.

second: to the publishers in charge of my paper deadline.  if you have certain guidelines that we must follow, please make sure they are explicitly stated.  when you say "vary subheadings and sub-subheadings with a new line" i'm under the impression that if i hit "enter" to begin a new subheading or sub-subheading, this constitutes a new line.  don't go back and tell me "you should make subheadings and sub-subheadings more distinguishable by typing them in boldface."  do you know how many subheadings and sub-subheadings the paper has?

moreover, when you explicitly state that "only tables, figures, and schemes need to have a list of appendix tables made" i'm under the impression that only those categories will require a list of appendix tables.  just because i have 12 maps included in my paper does not mean you can suddenly tell me i'm required to now include a list of appendix tables for the maps.  do you know where it goes?  under the table of contents.  do you know what that does?  it means that every single page thereafter is on a page number that is one unit larger than what it was previously.  do you know what that means?  i have to go back and change EVERY SINGLE PAGE NUMBER manually and add one unit to it so that now all the table of contents lines up perfectly.  screw you.

third: to the people at my place of employment.  (for those of you unfamiliar with the background story here.)  two research associates at my place of employment left prior to the summer.  with two fewer workers, it was known that they would be hiring one new person.  a research associate is the next step up from my current position.  it would be a logical hire--i've been there for awhile, i do all of the work that they do anyway, and i'm a student pursuing a Ph.D.  next to the director, i'm currently the second-most educated person at work.  everyone assured me i would be a shoe-in for the position.

well, here's a hearty "EFF YOU, place of employment" because do you know what they did?  they posted the job opening for 2 weeks....from july 13th to july 27th.

no.  no i did NOT have time to check the job availability during my wedding, my move to the new apartment, my honeymoon, and the one day i had before returning to work today.  a friendly reminder from ANYONE at work letting me know that the position was open would have been appreciated.

that is all.

I don't trust men with pony tails

But I do trust men with beards.

One of the guys I work near (let's call him Mike) is probably one of the most baller dudes I've ever met.

Here's why:

He's got a kickass, manly beard.
He's got 10 (11?) kids with another on the way.
Even though it's obvious his family is the center of his universe, he acts like he doesn't give a shit about them. He's told us stories about them. For example, one day he came home from work and was talking to his wife, who had a baby on her hip. It took him 20 minutes to realize it wasn't his and she was babysitting for some neighbor.

On the 4th of July, a reporter at the parade took note of one of his son's "exuberance" and wanted to interview his son (Dan):

reporter: Is that your son?
Mike: That one? I guess so, yeah.
reporter: How old is he?
Mike (to wife): Hey. How old is Dan?

When his kids misbehave, he often pulls the "How old are you? Don't you think that's old enough to know better than to do [bad behavior x]?" Partially because it's a good way to get them to think about actions and consequences. Partially because he needs a reminder of how old they are.

I've never seen anyone so excited for a Monday.
He commutes on a crotch rocket.

I think I  have a new role model.

I love you so much I want to punish you with my fist.

This video is funny. Not like super duper omg funny. But due to my suspicions that it will be taken down due to a certain obvious thing at the end, Imma link all of you loyal readers to it right now.

Oh Jon Lajoie.

Now I'm really itching for football season.