i had two interesting encounters this week. i'll try to briefly summarize them below.
a few nights ago ali and i did some registry shopping. after a long afternoon of shopping, we finished up. i was rather hungry so on my way home i went through the drive-through at taco bell for a quick bite to eat. there was a line of about 5 cars (which isn't unusual for the one in moorhead) but i figured i would wait in line anyway. the cars moved at a very slow pace. it took about 8 minutes just to get to the ordering area. from there, i would conservatively estimate it took another 12 minutes to get to the window, pay, and receive my food. once i finally got my food, the cashier/drive through runner made sure to vehemently apologize for the extended delay. he said something to the effect of, "i'm so sorry for the long wait. i hope you have a nice evening, please come again."
yesterday i went to the grocery store. the meteorologists had been predicting the storm of the year with 12+ inches of snow. (it didn't happen, but that's another story for another day.) i was almost out of groceries, so i decided to get some in the rare event that i would have been snowed in. apparently the entire city of moorhead had the same exact idea because the place was just PACKED with people. i found a line that only had 4 people waiting in it. unbeknownst to me, the lady in front of my had 2 carts of food. once she finally proceeded to check out, she had over $275 of groceries. there were so many groceries on the check-out stand that it backed up all the way to the part of the stand where you set the food down. the bagger was so swamped that the cashier had to help bag the food as well in order to speed up the process. in all, even after paying, i would say that the 2 baggers took about 6 minutes to bag all of the food, put it back in the carts, and send the lady on her way. once she was finally done and it was my turn to checkout, the cashier repeatedly said, "i'm so sorry that took so long. i hope you found everything ok today--we'll try to get you on your way much faster."
these two scenarios could easily become one of those far-too-common memes that have been raping facebook lately. i would summarize the two separate apologies as follows:
first world problems.
i'd like to introduce a segment i call "REALLY?!" with ahmed.
really, taco bell guy? you're apologizing for giving me food at an affordable price with only a 20 minute wait? that's like apologizing that the prescription medicine the doctor gave me took 24 hours to work. wait, it did exactly what it was supposed to.
and really, you're going to think it was such a hassle for me to sit in my car for an extended period of time? do you know how many millions of people on earth went without food that night? really. it's in the millions. and really? spending $5 on what was legitimately 2000+ calories is something i shouldn't have to wait for? i didn't realize how many billions of people either didn't get 2000 calories in their day, had to pay an exorbitant amount for their food, or either couldn't afford food altogether. when faced with those realities, i'll gladly wait 20 minutes, for $5 worth of my daily calories.
and really grocery store cashier? you're going to apologize that i can buy 2 weeks worth of food at an affordable price any time of day at my convenience with ease and the knowledge that this food is not only safe, but also healthy? you're right, that's something that needs to be apologized over. really. i've seen slumdog millionaire. i really know that there are countless millions of people who have to sift through garbage, walk miles upon miles, or eat contaminated food never knowing when or from where their next meal may come. really? you're going to apologize for the fact that i can get any food from any part of the world, take it home in my personal vehicle, put it in a fridge that will keep it good for days upon days, and utilize a stove, oven, or microwave to cook it properly? that's like apologizing that i have to share the air i breathe with the boy who was bagging my groceries because it is too readily available for only my use.
i guess the point i am trying to make is that we are so incredibly blessed to be living in a world in which we are afforded the luxury of having anything we want at our fingertips at any given time. so often we take this for granted. so often we fail to recognize that millions--nay, billions--are in a much more compromising position than ours. and it doesn't just stop with food. religious persecution, political freedom, healthcare, education, income potential, job availability--truthfully, those are just the tip of the iceberg. we have it so good. i have a job, an education, a shelter, a working vehicle, the right to believe whatever ideological, political, or theological slant i want, and countless other liberties that are unknown in many other parts.
i guess apologizing for the wait just doesn't tug at my heartstrings. not apologizing for those who do have to wait? that does bother me just a little. really.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
i should be friends with this guy
this is such a dickhead move, it's something i would do as a total a-hole. enjoy.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
why you secretly want to cheer for linsanity
i'm currently sitting in barnes and noble with the woman working on my upcoming class lecture. (sidebar: at this point in the semester, i can now confidently say that the future of america is not in my intro to soc class). we have plenty of time to kill before we are meeting some folks, so i figured i would blog about something that has been on my mind for a long time.
jeremy lin has taken over the sports world. even those who pay zero attention to sports have heard about this asian basketball player who is slowly taking over the city of new york, the entire NBA, and, frankly, feel-good stories across america.
just last night, SNL gave a politically correct sketch regarding how race has fueled the "lin success" debate.
for those of you who are unfamiliar with his story, lin was a great high school basketball player in california. he had no major division I offers after high school and chose to play basketball for harvard. he was an integral member of the harvard team and led them to some of their most successful seasons in harvard's history.
after going undrafted in the 2010 NBA draft, lin earned a contract with the golden state warriors and spent portions of the next season being signed, cut, waived, and bouncing from various NBA, NBDL, and foreign basketball leagues.
the new york knicks claimed lin off of waivers in late december. after a barrage of injuries to their backcourt, lin was essentially forced to start a few games at point guard. the rest is history. just look at what he did to the raptors a few days ago:
if that doesn't get you excited, just youtube some of his highlights against the lakers. the kid is for real.
unfortunately, racial undertones have fueled the "linsanity" message. headlines such as "amasian" or "the knicks' good fortune" are depressingly intolerant, insensitive, and genuinely take away from one key fact:
jeremy lin is a great basketball player.
that simple statement is what has been lost over the last few weeks. the NBA, its audience, the mass media, and the asian markets (particularly china and taiwan) have become enveloped in a profit-driven, hype-creating atmosphere geared towards re-branding a dying market. the reality is that basketball in new york has been pitiful since allan houston, larry johnson, patrick ewing and cronies stopped setting foot on the hardwood in madison square garden. the reality is that the NBA's profitability has declined and "superstars" are only created in the largest media markets. the reality is that the city of new york was fed up with carmelo anthony and amare stoudemire and their inability to bring a championship to a city that covets a "we-need-results-now" philosophy. the reality is that the NBA found a way to appeal to a much broader (asian) audience to replace millions of dollars in revenue that were lost once yao ming retired. the reality is that we--the general american basketball-watching public--are overwhelmingly upper-middle class, white, suburban, 18-to-49 year-olds who are interested in seeing the unexpected: an asian successfully playing basketball against athletic african americans and giant european/american men. the reality is that we are able to witness a 21st century "feel good" story that writes itself day in and day out: a nerd, an ivy league graduate, an undrafted player, a guy that doesn't fit in, an overnight legend.
we love jeremy lin for all of the wrong reasons. we should love him because he is a damn good basketball player. he has a creative genius that can open his own shots, set up teammates flawlessly, and he has a knack for taking games into his own hands when it is necessary. we should love him because he plays the game in a way that makes his team look better. we should love him because he understands the game in a way that hasn't been mimicked for years.
linsanity is a product of social media, profit-driven ideologies, ignorance, intolerance, and an infatuation with something unexpected. jeremy lin is a product of hard work, perseverance, and opportunity. let's not mix the two. let's not forget what good basketball looks like. let's not label something for what it isn't. let's label it for what it is.
jeremy lin has taken over the sports world. even those who pay zero attention to sports have heard about this asian basketball player who is slowly taking over the city of new york, the entire NBA, and, frankly, feel-good stories across america.
just last night, SNL gave a politically correct sketch regarding how race has fueled the "lin success" debate.
for those of you who are unfamiliar with his story, lin was a great high school basketball player in california. he had no major division I offers after high school and chose to play basketball for harvard. he was an integral member of the harvard team and led them to some of their most successful seasons in harvard's history.
after going undrafted in the 2010 NBA draft, lin earned a contract with the golden state warriors and spent portions of the next season being signed, cut, waived, and bouncing from various NBA, NBDL, and foreign basketball leagues.
the new york knicks claimed lin off of waivers in late december. after a barrage of injuries to their backcourt, lin was essentially forced to start a few games at point guard. the rest is history. just look at what he did to the raptors a few days ago:
if that doesn't get you excited, just youtube some of his highlights against the lakers. the kid is for real.
unfortunately, racial undertones have fueled the "linsanity" message. headlines such as "amasian" or "the knicks' good fortune" are depressingly intolerant, insensitive, and genuinely take away from one key fact:
jeremy lin is a great basketball player.
that simple statement is what has been lost over the last few weeks. the NBA, its audience, the mass media, and the asian markets (particularly china and taiwan) have become enveloped in a profit-driven, hype-creating atmosphere geared towards re-branding a dying market. the reality is that basketball in new york has been pitiful since allan houston, larry johnson, patrick ewing and cronies stopped setting foot on the hardwood in madison square garden. the reality is that the NBA's profitability has declined and "superstars" are only created in the largest media markets. the reality is that the city of new york was fed up with carmelo anthony and amare stoudemire and their inability to bring a championship to a city that covets a "we-need-results-now" philosophy. the reality is that the NBA found a way to appeal to a much broader (asian) audience to replace millions of dollars in revenue that were lost once yao ming retired. the reality is that we--the general american basketball-watching public--are overwhelmingly upper-middle class, white, suburban, 18-to-49 year-olds who are interested in seeing the unexpected: an asian successfully playing basketball against athletic african americans and giant european/american men. the reality is that we are able to witness a 21st century "feel good" story that writes itself day in and day out: a nerd, an ivy league graduate, an undrafted player, a guy that doesn't fit in, an overnight legend.
we love jeremy lin for all of the wrong reasons. we should love him because he is a damn good basketball player. he has a creative genius that can open his own shots, set up teammates flawlessly, and he has a knack for taking games into his own hands when it is necessary. we should love him because he plays the game in a way that makes his team look better. we should love him because he understands the game in a way that hasn't been mimicked for years.
linsanity is a product of social media, profit-driven ideologies, ignorance, intolerance, and an infatuation with something unexpected. jeremy lin is a product of hard work, perseverance, and opportunity. let's not mix the two. let's not forget what good basketball looks like. let's not label something for what it isn't. let's label it for what it is.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
How to get in shape
I've been asked once or twice in my life by friends how they should best go about getting in better shape. I'm not sure why. I'm no expert on the matter, but I guess I have a decent level of fitness, some common sense, and a little bit of commonly accepted medical knowledge. So without further ado, I present to you my some-number-of-steps guide to improving your fitness:
1)Pick something up.
2)Set it back down.
3)Repeat.
4)Find a different way to pick things up. See steps 1-3. Repeat until most of your muscles are at least a little bit tired.
5)Pick a non-motorized form of transportation.
6)Do that faster.
7)Repeat (6) until you find a pace that can be sustained, yet requires substantial respiratory effort.
8)Continue at the pace established in (7) for a while.
9)Eat food. Try some plants every once in a while.
10)Don't eat too much "junk" food.
and if you need to weigh fewer lbs than you do now, there's step 11.
11)Burn more calories than you consume. This does mean you will be hungry occasionally.
And of course, these steps become much easier to accomplish when you surround yourself with people that aren't assholes and are either a) not fatasses or b) trying to stop being fatasses.
So there you have it. Every fitness/weight-loss blog/magazine/book boiled down to a blog post that took me 5 minutes to write. I challenge you to find a doctor that can really disagree with this advice.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
I would like to extend a hearty FUCK YOU to the following individuals:
Kent Somers, Arizona Republic
Len Pasquarelli, The Sports Xchange
Scott Garceau, WMAR-TV
Mark Gaughan, Buffalo News
Darin Gantt, Rock Hill Herald
Dan Pompei, Chicago Tribune
Joe Reedy, Cincinnati Enquirer
Tony Grossi, Cleveland Plain Dealer
Rick Gosselin, Dallas Morning News
Jeff Legwold, Denver Post
Mike O'Hara, The Detroit News
Cliff Christl, Green Bay Press-Gazette
John McClain, Houston Chronicle
Mike Chappell, Indianapolis Star
Sam Kouvaris, WJXT-TV
Bob Gretz, KCFootballReport.com
Edwin Pope, Miami Herald
Ron Borges, BostonHerald
Pete Finney, Times-Picayune
Bob Glauber, Newsday
Gary Myers, New York Daily News
Frank Cooney, The Sports Xchange
Paul Domowitch, Philadelphia Daily News
Ed Bouchette, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Bernie Miklasz, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Nick Canepa, San Diego Union Tribune
Nancy Gay, FoxSports.com
Mike Sando, ESPN.com
Ira Kaufman, Tampa Tribune
David Climer, The Tennessean
David Elfin, WUSA-9
Darryl Ledbetter, Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Howard Balzer, The Sports Xchange
Jarrett Bell, USA Today
John Clayton, ESPN/ESPN Magazine
John Czarnecki, FOXSports.com
Dave Goldberg, AOL Sports/Fanhouse
Peter King, Sports Illustrated
Ira Miller, The Sports Xchange
Len Shapiro, Miami Herald
Vito Stellino, Florida Times Union
Jim Trotter, Sports Illustrated
Charean Williams, Ft. Worth Star Telegram
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