How to get in shape

I've been asked once or twice in my life by friends how they should best go about getting in better shape. I'm not sure why. I'm no expert on the matter, but I guess I have a decent level of fitness, some common sense, and a little bit of commonly accepted medical knowledge. So without further ado, I present to you my some-number-of-steps guide to improving your fitness:

1)Pick something up.

2)Set it back down.

3)Repeat.

4)Find a different way to pick things up. See steps 1-3. Repeat until most of your muscles are at least a little bit tired.

5)Pick a non-motorized form of transportation.

6)Do that faster.

7)Repeat (6) until you find a pace that can be sustained, yet requires substantial respiratory effort.

8)Continue at the pace established in (7) for a while.

9)Eat food. Try some plants every once in a while.

10)Don't eat too much "junk" food.

and if you need to weigh fewer lbs than you do now, there's step 11.

11)Burn more calories than you consume. This does mean you will be hungry occasionally.

And of course, these steps become much easier to accomplish when you surround yourself with people that aren't assholes and are either a) not fatasses or b) trying to stop being fatasses.

So there you have it. Every fitness/weight-loss blog/magazine/book boiled down to a blog post that took me 5 minutes to write. I challenge you to find a doctor that can really disagree with this advice.