the other day i blogged about a guy at work i called frank. well, frank is doing quite well.
on tuesday i had a meeting with my advisor over lunch. instead of the usual 1/2 hour lunch, i had to take a full hour off. in order to get this cleared with my boss, i told her i'd work an extra half hour. (makes sense.) she was down, i was able to go to my meeting, and everyone was happy.
well. all day tuesday we had been recording a module for an upcoming webinar series we are producing about road safety. the entire day i was stuck in my office-turned-studio with one of my co-workers putting together the first part of the webinar.
usually i work from 7:30 - 4:00. i've noticed that this is the same schedule everyone else has. that being said, all of the "higher up" people (i.e. the professors and researchers with phds) tend to leave early. after all, what's gonna happen if they take off at 3:30...they'll get fired? yeah, right.
usually i'm one of the last ones in the office. it never fails, but our main secretary will come to my office at about 3:55 and say, "well ahmed, you're the last one here. just make sure you turn off the lights and lock the doors before you head out."
so, anyway, i wrapped up recording the webinar at about 4:15. i had borrowed the recording equipment from a different department, so i had to return all of it. i packed it up and started walking to the other department. as i walked down the hall from my office, i noticed that frank was still in his office busy typing away on some obviously important research paper.
me: "you're still here?"
frank: "yeah dude. i'm 'focused'."
me: "ok..."
frank: "is anyone else here?"
me: "nope, i'm the last one."
as soon as i said "nope" frank double-clicked something on his laptop, and all of a sudden this hardcore gangster rap music just came blaring out of the stereo speakers in his office.
i just started laughing because at first i thought he was just trying to be funny. but then he started rapping and knew every single word to the song. and then he started flashing gang signs and making the "i'm-shooting-you-with-a-gun" gesture. i guess he's pretty hardcore.
anyway, i went out of our department and returned all of the recording equipment to the rural transit center. when i came back to our institute, i realized that the main door was shut. i went to open it, but it was locked and all of the lights were turned off. i technically was still supposed to be on the clock for another 15 minutes, so i hadn't grabbed any of my stuff to leave for the day. i peered through the window and noticed that one light was still on....frank: he was still in his office.
his office is maybe about 15 feet from the main door. so i knocked a couple of times. and then i started banging on the door.
but soon i realized: he was STILL blasting his gangster rap and couldn't hear my desperate pleas to be let in. his music was so loud that i was able to hear it through the door. so as soon as one song faded out, i just really started banging on the door to let him know that i was locked in.
it worked because he came to let me in.
me: "dude, i was out there for like 10 minutes. i was knocking like crazy!"
frank: "oh yeah, i must have been listening to music. why didn't you just give me a call to let you in?"
me: "well, i don't have your number."
frank: "haha, let me give it to you."
me, pulling out my cell phone: "alright give me a second....what's your number?"
frank: "it's" (his voice changes to a "hardcore" one) "1-900-SUCK-MY-DICK!!!!!"
needless to say, by the time i finally got back into the office it was about 4:30, so i just took off.
good times.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
buckets
i hate kyle singler and i sure as heck hate duke basketball. but the shot off of the tower is just sicknasty.
Monday, May 16, 2011
it was a good effort
i was in wisconsin this weekend. i mention this because for quite some time i have really wanted to try dogfish head beer. it doesn't matter what kind...anything. for the longest time wisconsin carried dogfish head at practically every liquor store in the state (a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea).
so i assembled a list of about 10 different beers i was going to buy and try. unfortunately, when i tried a few wisconsin liquor stores...i found out that dogfish head no longer distributes to wisconsin. what a joke.
needless to say, we made a desperate plea to the company after having a few beers made by other companies.
"Dear Mr. Calagione,
I am a grad student from Fargo, North Dakota. This weekend I traveled to Wisconsin with the intent of buying some DFH. Prior to leaving, I went on your website to make sure that DFH was still distributing in Wisconsin. The website said that I could still find DFH in the cities of Menomonie and Hudson. However, after going to 4 Menomonie liquor stores and 2 Hudson stores, I was heartbroken to find out that I wasn't able to taste your renowned beers on account of the fact that you are no longer distributing in the state. It was a disappointing 320 mile trip.
I don't know the legality of what I'm proposing, but is there any way that you can ship beer to Fargo? To my apartment? To anywhere not 320 miles away? I'm a huge fan and just want to get ahold of some DFH. Thanks for your time,
--Ahmed"
This is the response I got today while at work:
"Ahmed,
Thanks for reaching out and asking about our off-centered brews. That’s very unfortunate you drove so far and were not able to find what you were looking for. Sorry for any inconveniences this may have caused however we do state on our Fish Finder page to call ahead to make sure the beer is in stock. Since we are no longer distributing to WI those stores will eventually stop showing on the Fish Finder page. Also, due to federal law a brewery is not allowed to ship directly to consumers. All breweries have to ship through the proper distribution channels. Some online retailers may be able to ship directly to you but this will all depend on your State laws which I am unfamiliar with. Good luck on your searches and thanks again for your desire and support.
Cheers!
Bryan Herdman
Sales Administrative Analyst
Dogfish Head Craft Brewery"
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Finals week is...
not over yet. I'm nearing that point in finals week where you stop giving a fuck and just want it all to end.
Tonight, I'm trying to study for a final that will happen tomorrow morning. I'm really not sure what else to do to study for this thing. It's a final in a lab-based class and everyone I have talked to said they don't know how they're going to study for this thing or what will be on it. So I decided that now would be a good time to put some words into cyberspace.
In this past week, it has been decided that Minneapolis is the gayest city and now Minnesota is the most hipster state in the Union.
I'm not sure how to state the significance of these things or even if there is any. I just found it interesting for some reason. Maybe it's because deep down inside, I'm just a gay hipster.
Tonight, I'm trying to study for a final that will happen tomorrow morning. I'm really not sure what else to do to study for this thing. It's a final in a lab-based class and everyone I have talked to said they don't know how they're going to study for this thing or what will be on it. So I decided that now would be a good time to put some words into cyberspace.
In this past week, it has been decided that Minneapolis is the gayest city and now Minnesota is the most hipster state in the Union.
I'm not sure how to state the significance of these things or even if there is any. I just found it interesting for some reason. Maybe it's because deep down inside, I'm just a gay hipster.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
uno dos tres cuatro give me some more
i love storms.
the last few nights have been pretty intense. sunday night was filled with non-stop lightning for about 3 hours. last night west fargo had 1-inch hail. at my apartment we probably got pea-sized hail for all of 2 minutes. it's weird how weather works, but i'm pretty sure that nowhere else in the immediate area got any hail. either way, i had my windows open last night and it's always sweet to just hear a storm while you're fast asleep.
so there is this guy at my work. we'll call him "frank." anyway, frank works in IT and is your stereotypical nerd. he's probably 28-years-old. for some reason i find him to have a really great sense of humor and i just don't know why.
on my first day of work they introduced me to all of the employees. when i met frank, our conversation consisted of "hi, nice to meet you." nothing more, nothing less.
however, for some strange reason he likes to joke with me despite the fact that he really doesn't know me at all.
last week i got done with work and was leaving the office. (when you walk towards the exit door you pass directly in front of his office.)
anyway, frank apparently knows that i am done with work everyday at 4:00. so at 3:59 he filled up a cup of coffee, leaned against his office door, took a sip, and as i walked by he pretended to wipe away a tear and announced to the entire office (while pretend crying) "they grow up so fast!"
the next day i got off of work at 4:00. yet again he was standing at his office door. except this time he had one of my other bosses (we'll call her "jenny") there with him. when i walked by, he put his arm around jenny and said, "we did such a good job raising him, didn't we??" (sidebar: he and jenny are not in any type of a relationship).
then today was probably the funniest/awkwardest of all. as i was walking past his office he got up, put his arm on my shoulder and said, "here's looking at you, kid" and then proceeded to wink, make a *tskk* sound, and give the stereotypical point-the-gun-and-shoot-whilst-winking gesture.
this is all so fun/strange considering i've probably said all of 3 words to him since i started working.
to conclude this post, i'm going to give you a beer recommendation.
one of my favorite beverages at JL is called saint andrea's fault. the only problem: it costs $8 for a tall and $6 for a pint. granted, it's delicious, but that's expensive---especially for fargo. basically, the drink is supposed to consist of about 1/3 summit oatmeal stout, 1/3 whatever vanilla porter they have on tap, and 1/3 1919 root beer. it's more or less dessert in a glass, and i highly recommend trying it if you're into mixed brews.
anyway, at $8 a tall my wallet started to get mad at me. so i decided to test run the poor ahmed's version of such a drink.
i bought a 6 pack of breckenridge oatmeal stout
a 6 pack of deschute's black butte porter
and a 2 liter bottle of mug root beer.
after a little bit of experimentation, i have learned the key: pour the root beer last. keep the 1/3 proportion and you will love the flavor. like i say, it's the perfect dessert beer....it basically tastes like sweet coffee and sweet chocolate. hands down a great (and much cheaper) investment.
that's all for now...bockmed, i can't wait to see you in a few days. good luck with finals, buddy.
the last few nights have been pretty intense. sunday night was filled with non-stop lightning for about 3 hours. last night west fargo had 1-inch hail. at my apartment we probably got pea-sized hail for all of 2 minutes. it's weird how weather works, but i'm pretty sure that nowhere else in the immediate area got any hail. either way, i had my windows open last night and it's always sweet to just hear a storm while you're fast asleep.
so there is this guy at my work. we'll call him "frank." anyway, frank works in IT and is your stereotypical nerd. he's probably 28-years-old. for some reason i find him to have a really great sense of humor and i just don't know why.
on my first day of work they introduced me to all of the employees. when i met frank, our conversation consisted of "hi, nice to meet you." nothing more, nothing less.
however, for some strange reason he likes to joke with me despite the fact that he really doesn't know me at all.
last week i got done with work and was leaving the office. (when you walk towards the exit door you pass directly in front of his office.)
anyway, frank apparently knows that i am done with work everyday at 4:00. so at 3:59 he filled up a cup of coffee, leaned against his office door, took a sip, and as i walked by he pretended to wipe away a tear and announced to the entire office (while pretend crying) "they grow up so fast!"
the next day i got off of work at 4:00. yet again he was standing at his office door. except this time he had one of my other bosses (we'll call her "jenny") there with him. when i walked by, he put his arm around jenny and said, "we did such a good job raising him, didn't we??" (sidebar: he and jenny are not in any type of a relationship).
then today was probably the funniest/awkwardest of all. as i was walking past his office he got up, put his arm on my shoulder and said, "here's looking at you, kid" and then proceeded to wink, make a *tskk* sound, and give the stereotypical point-the-gun-and-shoot-whilst-winking gesture.
this is all so fun/strange considering i've probably said all of 3 words to him since i started working.
to conclude this post, i'm going to give you a beer recommendation.
one of my favorite beverages at JL is called saint andrea's fault. the only problem: it costs $8 for a tall and $6 for a pint. granted, it's delicious, but that's expensive---especially for fargo. basically, the drink is supposed to consist of about 1/3 summit oatmeal stout, 1/3 whatever vanilla porter they have on tap, and 1/3 1919 root beer. it's more or less dessert in a glass, and i highly recommend trying it if you're into mixed brews.
anyway, at $8 a tall my wallet started to get mad at me. so i decided to test run the poor ahmed's version of such a drink.
i bought a 6 pack of breckenridge oatmeal stout
a 6 pack of deschute's black butte porter
and a 2 liter bottle of mug root beer.
after a little bit of experimentation, i have learned the key: pour the root beer last. keep the 1/3 proportion and you will love the flavor. like i say, it's the perfect dessert beer....it basically tastes like sweet coffee and sweet chocolate. hands down a great (and much cheaper) investment.
that's all for now...bockmed, i can't wait to see you in a few days. good luck with finals, buddy.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
USE YOUR GODDAMN BLINKER
I've come up with a new term to be used in all travel guides henceforth.
Coefficient of Rapey-ness: a measure of the likelihood that you'll be raped in a given neighborhood.
Factors that are used in calculating the Coefficient of Rapey-ness include but are not limited to: violent crime statistics, income levels, number of sketchy alleys per square mile, proximity to a frat house, actual rapes committed, and how "scary" (black/Mexican/terrorist) the locals will seem to outsiders (white people).
The Coefficient should range from 0 to 1 with 1 being "certainty" of rape, e.g., prison, and 0 being no chance of rape.
It should also be noted that according to some sources, the rapey-er a neighborhood is in Rome, the better the restaurants.
Coefficient of Rapey-ness: a measure of the likelihood that you'll be raped in a given neighborhood.
Factors that are used in calculating the Coefficient of Rapey-ness include but are not limited to: violent crime statistics, income levels, number of sketchy alleys per square mile, proximity to a frat house, actual rapes committed, and how "scary" (black/Mexican/terrorist) the locals will seem to outsiders (white people).
The Coefficient should range from 0 to 1 with 1 being "certainty" of rape, e.g., prison, and 0 being no chance of rape.
It should also be noted that according to some sources, the rapey-er a neighborhood is in Rome, the better the restaurants.
Monday, May 2, 2011
black butte porter: try it
my life has been an absolute mess as of late.
i finally got a job. i really love it. i won't say the name of the place directly on here, but if you type in "ugh-puh-tih" in google you'll figure out where it is.
i originally applied for a student research position.
boss lady: "can you come in for an interview on wednesday?"
me: "sure."
(the interview takes place...fast forward a few days.)
boss lady: "are you still interested in the position?"
me: "yes."
boss lady: "can you come in wednesday around 10:00?"
me: "of course."
(fast forward to wednesday.)
boss lady: "well, we decided to give the student research position to another girl. the position that you applied for was heavily based on data entry. we felt that we could utilize your skills better if we used you in data acquisition and data analysis...do you think you would like doing that?"
me: "yeah, that sounds great!"
basically...they promoted me with out giving me a raise. (in alicia's words, they're just taking advantage of me because they know i have research experience.) i don't really care that they're basically making me the equivalent of a "research specialist" yet paying me as a "student researcher." in all, it's amazing experience and i'll probably get my name added to a few published articles and policy briefs.
plus, unlike the student researcher, i don't get a cubicle...i get a full scale office! i've never had one before (for my grad student office i have to share it with about 12 other people...) but this i get all to myself. it comes fully equipped with 2 computers, a 4th story view of campus, too much shelving and filing space, and all of the stats, GIS, and research software a researcher could ever ask for. it's a pretty sweet gig.
the only downside is that i'm working full-time. (my choice.) i thought i could balance a 7:30 - 4:00 job with school from 6:00 - 9:00 but it gets to be a really long day. plus i've noticed that by the end of the day i get pretty burnt out with the whole research thing. i mean, after researching road usage/road safety for 8 straight hours it kind of sucks having to go to class and research for an additional 3+ hours (even if it's on flood mitigation/things i am passionate about). oh well, i'm more or less done for the semester and only have a may term class over the summer...so i'll be able to relax every day after 4:00 for the entire summer...i really can't wait for that.
aside from work, i spent the last week or so helping alicia move out of her house. yesterday was concordia's graduation (congrats to stiche-master-flex, by the way). i've had enough moving for a loooonnnng time, which is saying something considering i wasn't even the one moving!
it was somewhat bizarre, but it was really bittersweet to see all of alicia's roommates leave their house. it sure has been fun getting to know each and every one of them over the years. they are a great group of girls and it will just be weird/sad/not the same not getting to see them whenever i want to. i wish them all the best of luck.
other than that, i have a pretty hectic summer ahead of me. my sister's senior show is on the 13th, so bockmed: plan for me to visit on the 13th/14th. alicia's sister is getting married the following week. 2 weeks after that is my grandpa's memorial service/burial. i'm tentatively planning a twins game in late june (again, bockmed, we'll be reunited) and then i have a ton of family plans throughout july. i know that it's only may 2nd, but i guarantee september will be here before i know it and i'll be wondering what happened to summer.
that's all for now, folks. i'll share some more exciting news in the near future once i find the time/have permission to do so. take care blogosphere, it's been real.
i finally got a job. i really love it. i won't say the name of the place directly on here, but if you type in "ugh-puh-tih" in google you'll figure out where it is.
i originally applied for a student research position.
boss lady: "can you come in for an interview on wednesday?"
me: "sure."
(the interview takes place...fast forward a few days.)
boss lady: "are you still interested in the position?"
me: "yes."
boss lady: "can you come in wednesday around 10:00?"
me: "of course."
(fast forward to wednesday.)
boss lady: "well, we decided to give the student research position to another girl. the position that you applied for was heavily based on data entry. we felt that we could utilize your skills better if we used you in data acquisition and data analysis...do you think you would like doing that?"
me: "yeah, that sounds great!"
basically...they promoted me with out giving me a raise. (in alicia's words, they're just taking advantage of me because they know i have research experience.) i don't really care that they're basically making me the equivalent of a "research specialist" yet paying me as a "student researcher." in all, it's amazing experience and i'll probably get my name added to a few published articles and policy briefs.
plus, unlike the student researcher, i don't get a cubicle...i get a full scale office! i've never had one before (for my grad student office i have to share it with about 12 other people...) but this i get all to myself. it comes fully equipped with 2 computers, a 4th story view of campus, too much shelving and filing space, and all of the stats, GIS, and research software a researcher could ever ask for. it's a pretty sweet gig.
the only downside is that i'm working full-time. (my choice.) i thought i could balance a 7:30 - 4:00 job with school from 6:00 - 9:00 but it gets to be a really long day. plus i've noticed that by the end of the day i get pretty burnt out with the whole research thing. i mean, after researching road usage/road safety for 8 straight hours it kind of sucks having to go to class and research for an additional 3+ hours (even if it's on flood mitigation/things i am passionate about). oh well, i'm more or less done for the semester and only have a may term class over the summer...so i'll be able to relax every day after 4:00 for the entire summer...i really can't wait for that.
aside from work, i spent the last week or so helping alicia move out of her house. yesterday was concordia's graduation (congrats to stiche-master-flex, by the way). i've had enough moving for a loooonnnng time, which is saying something considering i wasn't even the one moving!
it was somewhat bizarre, but it was really bittersweet to see all of alicia's roommates leave their house. it sure has been fun getting to know each and every one of them over the years. they are a great group of girls and it will just be weird/sad/not the same not getting to see them whenever i want to. i wish them all the best of luck.
other than that, i have a pretty hectic summer ahead of me. my sister's senior show is on the 13th, so bockmed: plan for me to visit on the 13th/14th. alicia's sister is getting married the following week. 2 weeks after that is my grandpa's memorial service/burial. i'm tentatively planning a twins game in late june (again, bockmed, we'll be reunited) and then i have a ton of family plans throughout july. i know that it's only may 2nd, but i guarantee september will be here before i know it and i'll be wondering what happened to summer.
that's all for now, folks. i'll share some more exciting news in the near future once i find the time/have permission to do so. take care blogosphere, it's been real.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Spring Jam
is a time for pasta and wine with roommates, shotgunning Surly and (apparently) for passing out on the bathroom floor at 10:30. This guy failed pretty hard last night. I think the cigar may be what made it all hit me and got me sick, but it could also simply be the entire bottle of wine and far too much beer. You know you've won when you wake up at 6:00 am with a pounding headache and the realization that you went to bed still wearing jeans and your hoodie.
Now for some hungover homework.
Now for some hungover homework.
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