Wednesday, May 4, 2011

USE YOUR GODDAMN BLINKER

I've come up with a new term to be used in all travel guides henceforth.
Coefficient of Rapey-ness: a measure of the likelihood that you'll be raped in a given neighborhood.
Factors that are used in calculating the Coefficient of Rapey-ness include but are not limited to: violent crime statistics, income levels, number of sketchy alleys per square mile, proximity to a frat house, actual rapes committed, and how "scary" (black/Mexican/terrorist) the locals will seem to outsiders (white people).

The Coefficient should range from 0 to 1 with 1 being "certainty" of rape, e.g., prison, and 0 being no chance of rape.

It should also be noted that according to some sources, the rapey-er a neighborhood is in Rome, the better the restaurants.

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