I don't trust men with pony tails

But I do trust men with beards.

One of the guys I work near (let's call him Mike) is probably one of the most baller dudes I've ever met.

Here's why:

He's got a kickass, manly beard.
He's got 10 (11?) kids with another on the way.
Even though it's obvious his family is the center of his universe, he acts like he doesn't give a shit about them. He's told us stories about them. For example, one day he came home from work and was talking to his wife, who had a baby on her hip. It took him 20 minutes to realize it wasn't his and she was babysitting for some neighbor.

On the 4th of July, a reporter at the parade took note of one of his son's "exuberance" and wanted to interview his son (Dan):

reporter: Is that your son?
Mike: That one? I guess so, yeah.
reporter: How old is he?
Mike (to wife): Hey. How old is Dan?

When his kids misbehave, he often pulls the "How old are you? Don't you think that's old enough to know better than to do [bad behavior x]?" Partially because it's a good way to get them to think about actions and consequences. Partially because he needs a reminder of how old they are.

I've never seen anyone so excited for a Monday.
He commutes on a crotch rocket.

I think I  have a new role model.