Saturday, November 26, 2011

I'll be the first to admit,

I can be a real dick sometimes. But 99% of the time, my victims have it coming.

You know those assholes that are in such a hurry to get where they're going that they weave from lane to lane every three cars, taking advantage of any open stretch of highway greater than or equal to one car length? Of course you do. Everyone has encountered these assholes on their drive to work or whatever. They always seem to be in a huge hurry to sit on the next guys bumper until it seems that the other lane is going faster, at which point they tailgate some other poor soul. They try to bully everyone else on the road into going faster or getting out of their way. Well, when I see these pricks coming up on me in my rearview mirror, I do my best to be the biggest douche I can. I'm usually a courteous driver and keep my lane changes to a minimum and always leave room so others can merge into my lane ahead of me. I will admit that I like to speed a little, but not too much, so I'm usually in the left (fast) lane. And when I see somebody like this coming up behind me I keep up the pace until they're right behind me. My lane looks so inviting until they decide to sit a foot off of MY bumper. That's when I switch on my own asshole mode. I pick a car in the lane next to me and match its speed, keeping my rear bumper even with their front, boxing in the asshole. And I keep this up until they either find another way around or I need to change lanes to prepare for an exit.


Random side-note:
My apartment finally upgraded our internet. It's actually usable in the evenings on busy school-nights, which is something we haven't ever enjoyed here. I'm quite impressed with the results.

One last random side-note:
Am I the only one that thinks Adele's "Someone Like You" is the pining of a jealous psycho-bitch?

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