So I just got a haircut

Why'd you only get one hair cut? haherpdederp. Because hair can be fucking plural. That's why.

Because I'm a man, and a simple one at that, I get my hair cut at Great Clips. The following is the conversation I had with my cosmetologist when I walked in:

Hi! Welcome to Great Clips, my name is Juniper (it wasn't)! What do you need today [paraphrasing]?

Just a haircut.

Have you been here before?

Yup.

Can I get your phone number? (If she had asked me this at a bar, I would have given it to her just the same. She was kinda cute.)

*tells her cell phone number* (because it's the one I use at a different location, assuming all their databases are synched together)

Oh. It doesn't seem to be in the system. Might it be under a different number?

Why don't we just start fresh with that number? (I knew I would be under my old home phone number (which has long since been disconnected), along with my whole family)

Yada yada. Something about keeping our notes. Can I get your last name? [more paraphrasing]

Yeah, it's Lastname. L-a-s-t-n-a-m-e.

*Reads back old home phone number. Names off my siblings, father and a foreign exchange student who lived with us when I was in 5th grade.*

*looks confused/indifferent*

Is that right? Do you know them?

Yeah, I know them. But that's not me. (again, I'm a simple man)

No. Right. You're in there with them. Bockmed, right?

Yup.

Could I get your new number again.

*repeats cell phone number*

Alright then, Bockmed, come back with me. We're the second chair here on the right.



*******scene.********

Now if anyone in my family goes to that Great Clips, they'll be under my cell phone number. So much unnecessary confusion...




I'm sorry Juniper.