i think i might blog about this

i just got back from the grocery store.  all i needed were two things: a gallon of milk and some pork strips for stir fry tomorrow.

so i picked up those two items and headed to the check-out line.  behold!  a line with only one person with a handful of items?  i'll choose this one!

now you all may or may not remember a previous post in which i ranted about how i don't care if i have to wait in line to get groceries.  this is not a rant about waiting.  instead, this is a rant about really fun customers. it reminded me of the good ol' days when bockmed and i ruled the jungle otherwise known as arby's.

the man i chose to get in line behind was in a grocery store scooter.  you know, the ones that are made for handicapped people.  i'll give the man credit: unlike 98% of other people i see at grocery stores using scooters whose "disability" is being morbidly obese, this man had a legitimate physical impediment.  he was about 80 years old and rather frail.  his wrinkly hands shook as he lifted canned goods towards the cashier.  i could genuinely feel his back pain as a winced while reaching to get his wallet.

but, for the love of god, he did not appear to have any kind of mental limitation.  he was courteous, friendly, chatty, and amicable while putting his goods on the counter.  but when it came time to pay...i just had to facepalm.

cashier: "your total is $10.12."
(old man reaches into pocket, SLAMS a bunch of coins on the counter, and suddenly shifted from his sharp-as-a-tack playful wit to a man apparently hard of hearing): "THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO COVER IT!"
cashier, counting coins: "sir, you gave me 78 cents."
old man: "I OWE 78 CENTS?"
cashier: "no, sir, you only gave me 78 cents."
(old man reaches into pocket, SLAMS more coins on the counter): "THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF IT."
cashier: "sir, you only gave me an additional dollar and four cents.  you still owe $8.30."
(old man reaches into wallet, throws paper currency on counter)
cashier: "sir, that was a dollar."
old man: "IS THAT ENOUGH?"
cashier: "you still owe $7.30."
(old man reaches into pocket, slides something across the counter)
cashier: "sir, you just gave me 6 cents. [editors note: SERIOUSLY????] that was only a nickel and a penny.  do you have another $7.24?"
old man: "I GOT IT RIGHT HERE."
(old man proceeds to place a crumpled up ball of paper currency on the counter)
(as cashier unfolds ball of paper currency, coins begin to fall out of the middle)
cashier: "sir, that was $6.20.  you only owe an additional $1.04.  do you have that tonight?"
old man: "I HAVE A COUPON FOR THE OLIVES."
(cashier swipes coupon): "great! i just need an additional 64 cents."
(old man reaches yet again into pocket and pulls out 64 cents worth of pennies and nickels)

as the old man scooted away, i felt really bad for the poor cashier.  when i reached the counter, it looked like a bukkake scene from hell if instead of shooting out loads of semen men ejaculated spare change.  it was a disaster.  i tried to cheer the poor girl up.

ahmed: "well, at least he didn't pay in all coins?"

so today's tip of the hat goes to YOU, dear grocery check-out girl.  you had the patience of a saint, the customer service of a seasoned veteran, and the math skills of an MIT accountant.  thank you for letting me see firsthand the professionalism that is often missing in lower-level unskilled positions.  good work!