...and that's how i got involved in an illegal poker game

over the weekend i met some buddies for some festivities and poker. we were playing a simple 10cent/20cent cash game. we mostly just wanted to dick around and have a good time. there were five of us at the house and we were all a couple deep.

at about 12:30 the guy living in the house got a text about a $1 cash game at a separate house. we figured it would be fun to up the stakes a little bit.

my buddy assured me that almost all of the guys there were tanked. he said that so long as you played tight and made a move when  you had a hand, you were essentially guaranteed to make money.

upon arrival, we quickly realized that the initial text was a lie. it wasn't a $1 cash game. instead, it was s $2/$5 game.

for those of you unfamiliar with cash poker games, you generally sit down at the table with 100 times the bet. that means that at minimum at this house, you were expected to sit down with $500. we were all a little buzzed, but none of us were going to be that stupid.

instead we each bought in for $200. no big deal, right? right.

in entirety, there were ten guys sitting at the table playing. as the dealer proceeded to deal out the hand i looked around and noticed that some stacks were considerably larger than mine. that's when i realized: most of these guys bought in for between $1,000 and $2,000.

obviously, at this moment there were multiple four letter words going through my mind.

i intentionally folded the first few hands to get a good read on the guys sitting at the table. these were all fairly rich guys that just wanted to BS and take money from each other. nonetheless, i noticed that the guys were playing pretty loosely. the upside: you can make a lot of money off of these types of guys. the downside: they can push you around, get lucky, and take all of your money quickly. i also noticed that - even to see a flop - i was going to have to spend at least $40 since that was the apparent standard pre-flop raise. crap.

in about my 4th or 5th hand at the table i got dealt pocket jacks. i raised pre-flop to $35. there were a couple of blinds on the table and only one guy called me. the rainbow flop was a jack, 4, 2. i put out another $35. the guy next to me, with a stack of about $1,500 went all in. in that situation i absolutely could not fold, but knowing my luck, i was ready to get a bad beat and lose $200 in a matter of a few minutes.

i called, and he pretentiously looked at me and said, "sorry buddy, i got trips! welcome to my house! it's been fun taking your money!" he then flipped over a pair of 2s. i smiled, flipped over my cards, and he was pretty pissed. the turn was a 3 and the river was a queen. i took $200 from him almost right away.

a few hands later i had A/J both diamonds. i raised to $20 pre-flop and had a few callers. the flop came A/J/6 and i was feeling great. i made a decent sized bet and only one guy called. it was the same guy i beat earlier. at this point he's talking smack along the lines of "i gotta get my money back from you little piece of shit." he's betting aggressively and running his mouth about how many outs he has for both a straight and a flush. i just push all in to make the action on him. he calls claiming he "likes his percentages."

i flip over ace jack. he flips over ace ten. the next card is an ace...the river is a jack. at this point he's just pissed. oh well.

i dicked around the rest of the night, made a few dumb moves, made one incredible lay down, and overall had a good time. i didn't get back to my apartment until about 4:30 in the morning, but my bulging wallet suggested it was worth it.

anyway. upon looking up north dakota gambling laws i affirmed what i first suspected. house games cannot exceed $500. so, yeah, i can finally say that i was part of an illegal, underground poker game. i'll cross that one off of my bucket list.